by Stefanie Melo
Not at My Best
The first time I realized I was reactive was in 2015. If you’ve known me for a long time, you probably knew before I did. I suppose as a teen I had some glimpses, but not in the self-aware way I did in the Spring of 2015.
My oldest was an energetic, opinionated 3 year old. My second was a sweet, toddling 1 ½ year old and I was in the thick of morning sickness with my third. I became aware of my reactivity when my 3 year old screamed or squealed. Usually, this was a joyful sound for her. Of course, at age 3 sometimes it was an unhappy one.
My brain saw them both as threats to my safety. I experienced rage. I would yell and vent and feel so incredibly angry. Like every single stress factor in my life burst through the seams when I heard her squeal or scream.
It was then I knew I needed help. I was able to connect with a therapist, who by some miracle was covered by insurance. I learned a few skills to self-regulate and to understand that some of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs were valid.
I also learned that some of my beliefs were counter-productive. Like the belief that my child was a reflection of my parenting. Therefore my “goodness” or “badness” as a person was dependent on the behavior of a 3 year old. That’s too much pressure to put on a child, particularly one that is acting in developmentally appropriate ways.
Finding Ways to Grow
I’ve done so much work since then, each month over the last several years making time to use the Aroma Freedom Technique to process old, unhelpful beliefs, emotions and habits and clearing through them to move towards a new intention.
In the past I have used AFT to breakthrough on sales goals, lose weight, love myself, forgive myself, forgive others, transform fear around money, release the crippling power past rejections had over me, grow my business while maintaining peace and calm in my heart and so much more.
Recently, I was able to experience another modality that helped me release the pain of losing my dad when I was 7, blaming myself for my brother’s death and embracing my voice, value and power as I am. I went through a beautiful process with a new friend where she literally held my hands and walked me through recognizing and releasing the patterns that were holding me back.
So Many Ways to Heal
There are so many beautiful modalities for healing, I don’t really think one is better than another. Something I love about Aroma Freedom Technique is 1) you can guide yourself through it when desired. 2) It’s uncomplicated 3) It uses the power of aromatherapy to unlock old memories and emotions 4) It’s a beautiful way to uncover thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that you may not consciously realize are there.
Just like I wasn’t consciously aware that the pain of losing my dad so young was holding me back in my present and therefore my future: sometimes we don’t see what’s below the surface.
Understanding Emotions, Feelings, Thoughts and Beliefs are Different Things
I love that AFT brings in not just the emotion, but also the thoughts surrounding that emotion and beliefs formed around that thought pattern. It also helps you to recognize that sensations in the body are connected to these blocks. With a few inhalations of an oil and recalling the first memory that comes to mind, the compounds in the essential oil combine with your intention and truly dissolve these patterns that hold you back.
How That Feels & What I'm Experiencing
As I just went through a process of releasing old beliefs and embracing new ones with my friend, I noticed that I became less reactive in tough circumstances.
I felt lighter in my body.
I didn’t feel like every little thing that went wrong was a reflection of my value as a person or my moral worth.
When I misplaced 7 passports: I didn’t descend into spiraling thoughts about how I am a terrible, unorganized, forgetful, irresponsible person who probably doesn’t deserve to live. That might sound dramatic to you if you’ve never had those type of thoughts, but that has been my default for as long as I can remember.
Stop the Shame
One message I received, repeatedly over my life, was that therapy shouldn't be an on-going process. That there is some shame around it “taking so long” and I’ve now come to realize what a dangerous thought that is.
That’s like saying if you are a Christian, you only need to go to church a few times. That if you want to be fit, one bootcamp should be all you need. That you only need friends intermittently.
There is no shame in being human. There should be no shame in needing regular practices that keep you physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. AFT can be one of those practices, just like reading, praying, meditating, exercising, eating: take time for your emotional, physical and spiritual well-being with essential oils and the Aroma Freedom Technique
I’d love to have you join my next AFT session. I’m holding two this month one at 12pm PDT/MST and one at6:30pm PDT/MST Your breakthrough could be on the other side of this practice. Will you join me?
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